As a child the books I wanted to read the most were about horses, the places I wanted to go to had fields with horses in. I dreamt of having a horse, the smell of them was and is divine to me. It was a passion that never faded. 

We loaned a pony for a while, I remember as a child falling off her, her name was Buttercup, and as I sat crying into my tissue she gently nuzzled me and started nibbling on the tissue. My family also loaned a trekking pony for the winter, his name was Lightening, he wasn’t, except when it was time to catch him to ride, then he was gone! 

None of this put me off, as I grew I developed M.E and this really played a big part in my life, physically, emotionally and spiritually but as I recovered and started to earn my own money I embarked on the horse path again. There was a local horse rescue centre and I would care for a horse or pony and bring them back to full health, not all were ridable but it was just having them close; it meant so much. 

The years passed and I loaned and bought, and it was something I am truly thankful for, they gave me so much. There was a lot of trauma in my life and those horse were there for me. Two who really stuck out for me were Joe and Harry. Joe I had bought and soon after he showed signs of severe damage to his knee from arthritis and so was unrideable. So his role in my life changed. 

He was a gutsy horse and he showed a spirit unlike any other I have met, he defied the vets diagnosis and with complementary supplements and therapies I had him in my life for many years. He could be stubborn, and was highly intelligent, he had been hand reared as his mother had rejected him, and that gives them some extra pushiness as they develop human characteristics. I bought him when he was 10. 

Then, because he was not able to be ridden I looked around and hey presto the most beautiful soul walked into my life. His name was Harry, a 16 hands dark bay, thoroughbred and it was absolute love. I had him on permanent loan. Him I could leave graze free on the fields and he would not stray, I would call his name to check where he was and he would whinny a reply. He was devoted to me, when I stayed away overnight he would get depressed. 

He came into my life as things got really tough and I can honestly say that this horse got me through it, he showed me love at a time when I felt my heart closing. Joe showed me strength and determination. Between the two of them they kept my heart pumping and my spirit alive. 

They left this earth at the time they were meant and they are both buried on the family farm, in the field they both love. 

When I had these two horses I linked with my shamanic teachers and it was with linking with them I came to understand the deeper meaning of horses. They used a lot of Native American teachings and it was through them I was introduced to Animal Medicine. 

I own a beautiful card set by Jamie Sams & David Carson, “Medicine Cards”. They come with a book that describes your journey with each specific animal. This opened my eyes and world to why I was drawn to certain animals and what they actually mean. 

The meaning of horse is personal power, I will share a little from this book “In understanding the power of Horse, you may see how to strive for a balanced medicine shield. True power is wisdom found in remembering your total journey”.

This remembering of your total journey is where I have been this last month, very intensely, deepened by my cycle syncing with the new moon, and the depth of this shift has been so powerful. I have remembered things buried for years, I have felt them so intensely they became real again for a period of time. Then I was able to retrieve the gift of the remembering, for there is always a gift in the reclaiming. 

Prior to this I had a dream, I have dreamt of horses so many times over the years, I don’t have any physical horses in my life anymore so they are alive in my dreams and heart. 

This dream was of me lying on the ground and the most beautiful and powerful horse trying to get to her feet, she was a big black and white horse. Her front left hoof was directly on my right leg, and as she tried to get up the first time I felt this intense pain in my leg. Her full weight was on me momentarily and it was excruciating. 

She lay down but then she tried to get up again, my leg still under her hoof, this time she got up and my dream showed her doing so. The pain was intense again and it floored me, I was pinned to the earth and felt this magnificent animal rise to her feet fully. 

This has been my living experience, I have had memories come up, I have faced and reclaimed. It is how I process, it is what I learnt all those years ago on my shamanic retreats, this is how I do it, I face the deepest depths, I relive them and reclaim. 

So my horse gave me warning that the first time she had tried to get up, it was only part of the healing. The second time was the one where she stands up. So I have been to the deepest depths this Easter Holiday, it has completely floored me, and thanks to my dream I understood that it was meant to. 

The horse in the dream is me, I am the one lay down, I am the one standing tall, in my full power. There is a grace and peace about horses but also there is a strength unlike any other, I am reclaiming mine. 

My childhood desire and passion has given me my life line to exactly what I needed in order to find my way home. Horses have walked beside me and within me for my entire life. Who walks with you? Become aware of what you are drawn to, as you look honour this link with your own guides; they will be able to work even more deeply with you. For you will be opening the door by acknowledging their presence. 

So whether its a bee, a whale, a tiger or a rabbit, open the door to them wholeheartedly, research the meaning yes as its part of the process of deepening the link. Then allow things to unfold and listen to the messages. 

Many blessings

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